This story is now published as part of the anthology ‘Loyal and True’.
When Chance Kinnard went to bed it was cold; but not that cold!
Chance owned a ‘hell of a doona’ and no matter how cold it got it would always keep him warm.
He always turned off the central heating at night, partly because he was a cheapskate, and partly because he got too hot under that spectacular doona.
His two dogs had lovely thick coats but they would always end up under the doona with him as the warmth slowly oozed out through the cracks in his ancient abode.
Two dogs plus spectacular doona equalled a lot of heat so occasionally he would have to throw the doona off for a few seconds.
He slept in his birthday suit which helped a bit but it got a bit tricky on entry.
The dogs wondered why he always made strange noises when his naked flesh hit the cold sheets.
Chance lived in what used to be a temperate rainforest so although it got quite cold in the winter it rarely ever snowed.
When he got up that morning and looked out of his window what he saw was not snow but ice. Several feet thick in places, as though God had left the freezer door open.
He thought about ringing someone to report it but then he decided to go back to bed. The dogs agreed with his assessment of the situation and after taking a wee in the laundry they joined him under the doona.
“Global warming, my arse”.
These words hung in the air as he slowly drifted off to sleep.
The rescue teams found them several days later, looking peaceful but frozen solid.