“As iron is eaten away by rust, so the envious are consumed by their own passion.”
This story is now published as part of the anthology ‘Loyal and True’.
Dr Doug was born without a sense of humour.
While leaving Dr Doug’s office, one of his patients ordered ‘100cc’s of humour for Dr Doug, stat’!
Dr Doug didn’t think it was funny and neither did his receptionist.
She had to work with him after all, and a complete lack of humour made the day go a lot smoother.
It seemed to her that almost everyone thought themselves to be hilarious, but they weren’t.
Dr Doug was angry, and his anger filled up the space that was normally reserved for a sense of humour.
Mostly he was angry because other doctors in his field of expertise made more money than he did.
All day long he looked at people’s skin, deciding if it was a freckle or a melanoma, which in a country with the highest incidence of skin cancer in the world meant he was kept very busy.
But, it was not enough.
Other doctors were reaping the rewards of the government’s skin cancer awareness campaign, which scared the Hell out of everyone.
Other doctors were burning, cutting and slicing from morning till night even though most of what they were removing were harmless Seborrhoeic Keratoses. As long as they said it was Melanoma, the government would kick in a sizeable chunk of the cost, and the patient paid the rest.
The government had succeeded in scaring the bejebees out of its citizens, but Dr Doug’s moral compass would not allow him to cash in.
This made him even madder.
It got so bad that he started to take it out on his patients.
Magpies don’t get skin cancer but like all creatures in the wild, they live a precarious existence, and much time must be devoted to the gathering of food and the finding of shelter.
The magpie that lived in the medical centre car-park did not like Dr Doug.
Every afternoon, as Dr Doug made his way to his car, the Magpie would swoop down and do his best to peck the angry skin doctor. Under normal circumstances, he would only do this during the mating season when he had chicks to protect.
But, for Dr Doug, he swooped all year round.
The angry doctor carried a copy of The Australasian Skin Specialist Monthly, wildly and ineffectively swinging it above his head to protect himself from this vicious Magpie.
Angry birds target angry people.
Dr Doug had lots of stuff, but his colleagues had a lot more, and it really pissed him off.
The Magpie had lots of other things that he could be doing, but he always blocked out a bit of time in the afternoon to give Dr Doug a hard time.
The Magpie’s life was hard, but he didn’t mind, there was always Dr Doug to harass. Seeing the angry skin doctor flailing away bought a song to the Magpie’s heart.
13 thoughts on “Dr Doug.”
Absolutely beautiful Picture statement. Not only thought provoking but very a very interesting for watch.
Thank you, much appreciated.
I loved the picture, and thought, what a great photograph, and then I saw there were words as well. The more I read of you, the more I see the experience and powers of observation behind the posts, and it is a pleasure to observe them
I’m touched by your comments. Thank you.
I’m having fun and I’m glad it shows.
You’re like St. Francis to me, the lover of the animals. He said all animals are my sisters and brothers. You can’t imagine how I enjoy every time you post something! Your stories with different animals and beautiful photography also reminds of of James Michner, the great American Novelist who only died about 6-7 years ago. He would take one small animal and write about its trial and tribulation so much so that you could never believe during reading the book that he was talking about animals, Of course he did the same with places, like Hawaii, and…
Thank you for making my day…
You are very generous with your comments and I appreciate the time and effort you put into your thoughts, and it is great for me to know that you enjoy my stories. Every writer needs an audience, as you know.
I’m at the age that I’m being chipped away by dermatologists, so this post made me laugh. Thanks for my humor dose! Poor Dr. Doug, besieged on all sides and with no humor gland to find the funny in life.
I’m very pleased that you enjoyed it…….. personally, I’m on the side of the Magpie.
Hee hee, poor Dr Doug! This reminded me of being in my late teens and walking to the beach with friends, all four of us hiding under one surfboard as we passed the park and swooping magpies. Family legend has it that my great uncle lost part of his ear to a magpie; Dr Doug would probably smile at that.
Amazingly I’ve never been swooped. I rode a bike to school for many years but no swooping.
Thanks for that visual of four young ones under one surfboard…. excellent.
Love magpies!!! Wish we had ’em around here. PS, I’m applying more sunblock today.
Check the bottle first, make sure it isn’t Wite-Out
HAHAHAHAHA! (u may have heard me all the way down under)