We were both grown ups.
We knew what was expected.
I could have pulled my dress up and bent over and he would not have complained. He was always full of passion and I loved it.
It was me he was passionate about.
I was doing this to him.
He could have had anyone but he wanted me.
But despite all that, it was my role to prolong the dance.
That too was expected but not always welcomed.
The war was over and we were happy to have our men back home in one piece. The men who returned were mostly sound of limb, but sound of mind was likely to take some time, and for some, it would never come.
Bill never told me what happened ‘over there’ and I didn’t ask.
He couldn’t be around people all the time. He needed his own space.
And so it was; he would call and I’d be waiting. He’d be full of desire and I’d do my best to be who he needed me to be.
It wasn’t exactly how I wanted things to be but for now it was enough.
He was powerfully built but he never made me do anything I didn’t want to do, but at times we walked a fine line.
Seduction can be slow and gentle or fast and ferocious.
Sometimes we didn’t make it all the way through dinner. Wine got spilt and the fruit bowl on the table lost its contents.
After the things that he had seen, I doubt that he will ever feel safe, but with his arms around me I felt like nothing in the world could hurt me. My man needed me and that made everything alright.
Illustration by Jack Vettriano