I answered the ad and they stuck an umbrella in my hands and said, “Hold it for anyone who asks, particularly women.”
They didn’t need to say it twice, I like women.
I like being close to the water. I like the smell of salt in the air and I like to eat so I needed a job.
To be honest, I was more used to handling an umbrella in the winter; rain falling down, that sort of thing.
Women don’t like to get too much sun which is wise in a country where the sun will peel the skin right off you in a very short space of time.
I was a bit hesitant at first but I soon got the hang of it. “Excuse me madam, would you like to be ‘umbrellaed’?” Mostly they looked at me a bit funny at first but usually they said yes.
My arms ached a bit, but I soon learned the ‘change hands’ technique, which worked fine unless it was windy, which it often was.
The other ‘umbrella fellas’ said that this was a good job for picking up women but so far I haven’t seen a lot of action. I did get a kiss over near the ice cream stand but it didn’t lead to anything.
She did hold my hand though, which was nice. Naturally I had to put the umbrella down; I didn’t want to poke her in the eye or anything.
She didn’t kiss me straight away. She needed convincing. I even had to change my jacket. Obviously she preferred me in brown, and having one hand casually in my pocket didn’t do any harm either.
Finally, as all Summers are want to do, this one ended, and so did my job. Fortunately there were a few very rich people who liked to stay by the ocean until winter set in and these people had heard about my umbrella wielding abilities and hired me on the spot. To be honest, it felt good to hold an umbrella and utilise it for its primary function; to stop beautiful women from getting wet.
As long as there was sand, sea and rich women, who didn’t want to get rained on, I was set.
I had risen rapidly through the ranks of umbrella carriers to rise to the top of my profession. If not fortune, fame was surely mine.
Who knows what the future will bring.
Maybe I’ll branch out and become a projectionist, to help fill in those long lonely winter nights.
Maybe I’ll take up being a travel companion. They say that Angel is beautiful in the Spring. I’ll need a new suit and a better hat if I’m going to pursue that line of work, and I might need to work out just a bit. The duties of a travel companion can be quite taxing, or so I’m told. But I’m also discreet, so there won’t be any telling.
But, I don’t want to get ahead of myself.
There are still a lot of women out there who are forced to carry their own umbrellas, and that’s just not right.
All illustrations bar the last two, are paintings by Jack Vettriano.
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I just love this. I recently wrote a poem about an umbrella. Thank you for sharing this. ~Audrey
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Glad you enjoyed it. Can I have the link to your poem? And while we are at it, as a poet, what is it that makes umbrellas so romantic.
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http://oldestdaughterredheadedsister.com/2014/04/08/loves-umbrella/ Here you go, thanks for waiting a day or so for the link. I hope you enjoy the Umbrella poem. For me the poem speaks of exactly why umbrellas are so romantic. Let me know what you think. Have a great day!
~Audrey
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Most entertaining thanks. I snorted, audibly, at the change of jacket.
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Thank you for noticing that bit. I smiled a bit myself. Terry.
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Lol, that was nice! Men will save the world, won’t they?! 😉
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From the time we were able to walk we were taught that it was our role to protect…… At least it was for my generation…… I’m not that sure that we have done a good job of it. Maybe the young ones will do better?
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Dear umbrella man. I am running out of words for you. Been through ‘great’, ‘fantastic’, brilliant ‘, wonderful. So take them all at once for this piece cos I can never go without leaving a sigh behind….sigh…..I loved it.
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Thank you randomrose. I really don’t mind if you re-use adjectives. My ego is somewhat akin to a ravenous dragon…… constantly needs feeding.
This one kind of grew as it went along. It only supposed to be a single painting but I thought…. what the heck, I’ve got quite a collection of umbrella photos, and I haven’t done one of these since ‘Ophelia Drinkwater’ so why not. After finishing it I remembered why I don’t do too many of these…. it’s a lot of work! But your enjoyment makes it all worthwhile.
Terry
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what woman doesn’t love a well held umbrella?
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True, so true.
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A multiple picture story. Good work!
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Lots of work, and it was only going to be a short piece based on the first painting, then I realised that I had a lot of paintings with umbrellas in them, and so it grew. Terry
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And love that title!!!
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Thanks kid I always look forward to your comments. Terry
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Wonderful post- such great writing!
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Thank you Cynthia, I unashamedly enjoy it when people, like yourself, enjoy one of my stories. Glad you had fun.
Terry
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Still smiling, Much like walking under an umbrella that someone is holding for you…the paintings leading the words in a way that keeps the pace and becomes a dance.
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Thank you Elena. It was a lot of work but reactions like yours make it all worthwhile.
Terry
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Once again Terry, you’ve got it covered!
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I can always rely on Anne for a delightful pun. I’m really enjoying your work Anne. Autumn brings out the best in you.
Be well.
Terry
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Glowing! : ))))
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Lovely story. Enjoyed it. Chivalry at its best! Thanks for the post, Terry.
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Thanks Smitty, blokes just want to help, I guess.
terry
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🙂 Good on you blokes! Happy Easter. Iris
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I love the paintings and photos you use to accompany your fiction and your essays. Really nice – and especially this one.
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They often take a long time to find, but they do the trick…….. they inspire a story….. which is the point after all. It’s how I find most of my stories…… strange but true.
Terry
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It works!
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Absolutely delightful! Makes me want to go for a (well-sheltered) walk in the rain… 🙂
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Thank you. It had the same effect on me also.
Terry
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Reblogged this on araneus1 and commented:
Some people can make an occupation out of anything……. like this bloke. Not a bad way to spend your working day.
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umbrellaed, ha! that’s a titillating word. umbrellaed on the beach! there’s a thought. or while getting ice cream. naughty you!
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Thank you kind sir……..always fun to invent a new word……..lol
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Where do I find these “umbrella fellas:? 🙂
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Like good men, we are a dying breed……………… lol
Terry
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