For the last two weeks, I have had unlimited access to a vehicle that was ‘expenses free’.

I knew this opportunity was coming up and I made tentative plans to ‘go lots of places’.

Moreover, I intended to drive somewhere every day.

But in the end I just stayed home.

Why, I hear you ask?

Because I like it here.

Given the opportunity, my better half would travel to almost anywhere, almost any time.

I’m not exaggerating, despite my occasional trip to hyperbole-land, on this occasion I’m telling it straight.

Some people just need to be on the move, but I’m not one of them.

Don’t get me wrong, I love to drive. I own a beautiful classic car and I am supremely happy when I am ensconced behind its shiny wooden steering wheel. But even with this massive temptation sitting in my driveway I sometimes go for a couple of weeks without going anywhere.

I like it here.

I understand why people need to see the world, but I don’t understand why they put up with so much discomfort in order to see things that I can see simply by turning on my computer. Having said that, it is true that I cannot fully experience Venice or a distillery in Scotland without being there but neither can most of the people who travel.

The stories that most of our friends tell are of a constant blur of cities and churches and buses. They seem to be constantly exhausted and sometimes tell of ‘sleeping through’ their visit to some random famous site.

Just getting there seems to be a special torture.

The idea of sitting in a thin metal tube for the better part of a day and a half only to lose the next couple of days to jet lag is not my idea of fun. This is the kind of torture that only the CIA could think up.

Apparently several suspects have cracked under the threat of a flight to Australia! They are not worried about what will happen to them when they get here, as sunburn seems to be the worst we can inflict, but they cannot stand the idea of a 36-hour flight.

If Apple come up with a version of the Star Trek transporter I might not be first in line, but I will be there for iTransporter 2.01. Even the risk of a famous ‘transporter accident’ where I’m transported to an alternative universe where animals are treated with respect and politicians work for the betterment of their communities, would not dampen my enthusiasm for a weekend in Paris or a few days on the island of Islay.

But until that day arrives, I’m happy here.

My ancestors were Vikings, so maybe all the wanderlust has been bred out of me.

If you are a traveler, then don’t let me put you off, you enjoy yourself and if you need me you know where I’ll be.

I’ll be right here.